A Losing Relationship?

I don’t come across too many things about relationships that I agree with, but this was Very interesting. And for the most part, I agree with it. I can see where If both individuals are trying to win at “losing” for the sake of the other that it can make for a better marriage/relationship. I’m a firm believer that Both people have to want to make things work in order for a relationship to last – and Both have to be willing to compromise. One person can’t have it all – all the time! I would say that Ben and I are between the last two types. I think we trade off on who loses the most. It’s hard because Ben is Not use to the idea of Losing. He definitely has a Win at All Cost mentality. I guess that the job of the counselor would be to help someone like him accept the idea that it’s Ok to Lose. I have always been the self-less one. That is how opposite we are. There are times when I have no clue how we work together… But I think it’s because we truly love one another and Both try that keeps us together. I will definitely be keeping this in mind when I am getting frustrated with Ben …. which will probably be some time today. Lol.


You can be right, or you can be married; take your pick. I can’t remember who told me that, but I do remember that they were only half-joking. The other half, the serious half, is exceedingly important. This is why.

Many therapists aren’t crazy about doing marital therapy. It’s complicated and messy, and it often feels out of control. In the worst case scenario, the therapist has front row seats to a regularly-scheduled prize fight. But I love to do marital therapy. Why? Maybe I enjoy the work because I keep one simple principle in mind: if marriage is going to work, it needs to become a contest to see which spouse is going to lose the most, and it needs to be a race that goes down to the wire.

When it comes to winning and losing, I think there are three kinds of marriages. In the first…

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