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The Day After

Oct15

I ran my second half marathon yesterday (Sunday Oct.14th) even though I was still fighting a virus. My training was already shortened because I had just finished recovering from my first half and had about 4 weeks to get ready for the NWM. The virus hit me 4 days before the race and pretty much took me out. I was still determined to do the race so I focused on resting and saving up all my energy for Sunday.

I finished the race and was still able to do it under 2 hours :-) But yes, it took a toll. Even the fireman and volunteer at the finish line could tell.  I must have looked horrible because they kept asking me if I was ok and if I needed help. lol. I did have a bit of a hard time catching my breath at first but I managed to stay on feet.  I was completely exhausted but I got my pic with the fireman, got some race goodies, and walked to the shuttle back to Union Square. I made it home, but I was physically done.  My stomach hurt, my head hurt, and my whole body ached. I had a fever the whole day.  I was on the couch the whole day. As soon as Ben got home from work, I was in bed.

So Tired! On the Bus back to Union Square.

While I was sleeping, Ben decided to call in sick to work so I could get some rest today.  I woke up at 8a worried that he was late but he told me not to worry and to get some more rest. I was still so tired that I was quickly back asleep. I woke up at 10a because I was hungry. I felt much better and my body didn’t ache. I got some food but was still tired so I went back to bed.

I finally got up at 3p – and felt great. My legs are a little sore but not as bad as I thought they would be. My glutes didn’t even feel sore which is surprising because of all those hills. I didn’t hurt my hip like I did with my first half and my ankle didn’t hurt at all. My fever hasn’t spiked all day and I am finally feeling like I’m getting over this virus.

A day like this makes me realize just how lucky I am. Sometimes I wonder how Ben and I work since we are so opposite in so many ways. But it’s times like this, I am reminded of why I love him so much. Despite his flaws, he is a good man and takes good care of our family. Every stay at home mom knows that there is no resting with kids, and I am grateful that Ben understands that. Thanks to him, I will be able to get back to my routine in no time.

A Losing Relationship?

Apr19

I don’t come across too many things about relationships that I agree with, but this was Very interesting. And for the most part, I agree with it. I can see where If both individuals are trying to win at “losing” for the sake of the other that it can make for a better marriage/relationship. I’m a firm believer that Both people have to want to make things work in order for a relationship to last – and Both have to be willing to compromise. One person can’t have it all – all the time! I would say that Ben and I are between the last two types. I think we trade off on who loses the most. It’s hard because Ben is Not use to the idea of Losing. He definitely has a Win at All Cost mentality. I guess that the job of the counselor would be to help someone like him accept the idea that it’s Ok to Lose. I have always been the self-less one. That is how opposite we are. There are times when I have no clue how we work together… But I think it’s because we truly love one another and Both try that keeps us together. I will definitely be keeping this in mind when I am getting frustrated with Ben …. which will probably be some time today. Lol.

UnTangled

You can be right, or you can be married; take your pick. I can’t remember who told me that, but I do remember that they were only half-joking. The other half, the serious half, is exceedingly important. This is why.

Many therapists aren’t crazy about doing marital therapy. It’s complicated and messy, and it often feels out of control. In the worst case scenario, the therapist has front row seats to a regularly-scheduled prize fight. But I love to do marital therapy. Why? Maybe I enjoy the work because I keep one simple principle in mind: if marriage is going to work, it needs to become a contest to see which spouse is going to lose the most, and it needs to be a race that goes down to the wire.

When it comes to winning and losing, I think there are three kinds of marriages. In the first…

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Firsts

Mar26

Taking a stroll down memory lane…..

The First time I saw him – 6th grade. A friend of mine had a huge crush on him. I was the new girl so I had no clue who he even was but I could tell he was one of those popular and arrogant type of guys.

The First time He Looked at me – 6th Grade field trip to the Exploritorium in SF. I was waiting for my friends and his class walked by. He actually looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes and my heart stopped.

The First time he talked to me – 8th grade. Making fun of a project that I did with a friend of his.

The First time we talked – 8th Grade field trip to Great America on the bus ride home. I had a pounding headache and he had the guy next to him switch places with me so I could next to him. I was the Happiest girl in the world despite my aching head :-)

The First time he asked me out – 8th grade after school – about two weeks after the field trip. I was so nervous. All I could say was yes and no to the questions he was asking. It was one of the happiest days of my life :-)

Our First kiss – 8th grade after school in front of Lone Oak Park.

Our First Date – Mission Impossible movie at the Cinedome.

Our First Dance – End of the school year dance in 8th grade. He was slightly upset that I got Queen and someone else besides him got King.

The First time he told me he loved me – During our first dance :-)

After that, we had a roller coaster relationship – if you could even call it that. I don’t like to look back too often because there were a lot of sad and painful memories. But our First time together as a couple was the most sincere, pure, and innocent Love. I can close my eyes and remember these moments like it was yesterday. I smile and feel like that little girl again who is absolutely crazy about him :-)

I knew from the moment he looked at me with his amazing blue eyes that he would be a part of my life forever. I knew from the first kiss that he was the one I would spend my life with. I waited years for him and all the heartache was completely worth it because in the end, my dream came true. We’re together :-)

8 Years and counting :-)

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Both Ways

Apr20

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that a Relationship is NOT a One Way Road. Anyone who’s been stuck on that road, knows it sucks! It can’t be all about one person ALL the time.  I know there are those who try to live by “As long as their happy, I’m happy.” That’s just crap!  If your happiness doesn’t matter, how can you be happy? There is only so much of yourself that you can give to the other person before there is nothing left besides resentment and bitterness.

This goes for ALL relationships – not just the one with your significant other. Families and Friendships are just as important.  Just because you’re family doesn’t mean you don’t have to try.  A happy relationship with family is not automatic! And family is probably one of the toughest relationships to maintain. Friendships are the easiest relationships to give up on. Time and distance are the common excuses. If Both people make an effort, a friendship can last for a life time and overcome any distance.

Relationships are hard.  I think most of us underestimate just how hard they are. But Anything worth having, takes work. So remember it’s a two way street. It has to be about Both people.